essays, and reflections...
im on my first real break of the evening.
im just over halfway? through the first essay. cant tell exactly as i have no word count on what im using to write it... for anyone who knows me you'll realise that for me and essays thats actually really slow. i tend to write around 1000 words in 90 mins - therefore this essay should have taken me 3 hours.. however, ive been doing lots of reading and integrating notes into it -which is way more time consuming than just writing... ive also got no attention span- mainly cause im dehydrated and its so hot....
in a minute im going to have another cold shower- my third of the day in an effort to boost my concentration span a bit- though i dont know what will happen in the morning...
have also been thinking in general and letting my head wander for a bit-
today i ave been mostly thinking about a lot.
obviously this morning was predominantly taken by the whole job thing... this afternoon whilst on the buses i was just randomly wondering whom i might see today, having had a close encounter last night with some people...
am also thinking about spain and what will happen when i get back...
three weeks of history will have happened while i have been away - everything may have changed... today i found out about 3 more people being engaged, two to each other and another one to someone else, which led me onto where i stand at the moment with the whole thing...
kinda worked out it makes little difference as id never actually be the one to speak out... so its unlikely to happen anytime soon, so im just going to try and forget about it for now. i really dont know why its come back up anyhow... [no smart answers there please] yes it did turn out that i ended up liking someone but we know where that went.... and since then i can think of three people whom if i [had] let myself i could probably drive[n]myself to distraction wondering about it... but i dont want to be disappointed [again] so there you go. sounds a bit trivial... but its me at the moment, so until someone declares their interest... im hiding that part of me.
but yeah- that got me to thinking - everyone who isnt attatched yet, may be when i get back, and that would change a lot for me, or [hopefully not] people who were attached may no longer be, and the thing i always worry about when i go away at all [and is actually usually justified - chris nearly killing himself on a 5p being a prime example and that was only a weekend in rugby when i was easily contactable] is that someone is going to fall apart, or be injured or something where im needed and i can't be there.i know im playing ifs and buts here but ....
in some ways this week is fantastic- im so busy that i dont have any time to get stressed, or even think about anything - this consequently means that as soon as i get on the coach to go to spain it will all catch up wiht me and ill probably end up making an ass of myself on the coach as i begin to process things. hopefully ill get the front seat so i can a) see and b) not disturn anyone when i start kicking the thing in front of me or banging my head against the window.
then its almost three weeks with nothing to do. not sure how ill cope as i like having the opportunity to do things... and consequently the opportunity to turn them down... but it will be okay. i cant promise an especially mellowed sara when i return but i can see me having had some time out, got some stuff sorted and hopefully this will be a great chance to get some practice at listening to what God has to say - something ive found hard recently for myself, and hopefully get back into the discipline of spending regular time with Him each day, which to be perfectly honest i havent done really since i rebelled. that isnt to say i havent done it full stop. to the contrary ive done it lots, i just havent been disciplined... though to show willing, im only taking one book [other than a phrase book which ive been told i HAVE to have] and im sure you can guess what that is....
i may take another book for the coach, but it will be a useful book...
this way ill have to do bible study. Its something i realised as i was writing my essay - because as part of my degree i study the bible i tend to forget to study it for myself. this is one reason im looking forwards to next year and my dissertation - i actively want to study what im hoping to do.
other than that, im taking pens and paper, and my sketch book, and my camera... and the essentials. thats it.
so my plans while im out there?
swim :) 2k a day if possible! [ pray that the pool is open by the time i arrive!]
spend time on my own with the Lord...
letter write - i owe several letters. i normally end uip writing at a keyboard nowadays as my epistles tend to be long and rambly [in case you cou'nt tell' and writing by hand tends to hurt very quickly, but i will have that option if necessary. plus i would like to keep in touch wiht my friends while im gone. three weeks is a long time.
plan the move. this one wont take very long to do...
Jack Chris and T.K have offered to help move things from theirs, which is where half my stuff is, so thats sorted, and i just need to organise getting stuff from my parents to there so will poke mick before i go and while im gone, AND when i get back. moving date is a thursday though so it shouldnt be too bad, and theres only one car load (plus guitars, so two really but guitars can wait)
anyhow, tis midnight, so im gonna dive in le shower and cool off before cracking back on with this. and find some water!
not specially in depth really... but i meant what i said about not posting on 'what light...' for a while.
sara
im just over halfway? through the first essay. cant tell exactly as i have no word count on what im using to write it... for anyone who knows me you'll realise that for me and essays thats actually really slow. i tend to write around 1000 words in 90 mins - therefore this essay should have taken me 3 hours.. however, ive been doing lots of reading and integrating notes into it -which is way more time consuming than just writing... ive also got no attention span- mainly cause im dehydrated and its so hot....
in a minute im going to have another cold shower- my third of the day in an effort to boost my concentration span a bit- though i dont know what will happen in the morning...
have also been thinking in general and letting my head wander for a bit-
today i ave been mostly thinking about a lot.
obviously this morning was predominantly taken by the whole job thing... this afternoon whilst on the buses i was just randomly wondering whom i might see today, having had a close encounter last night with some people...
am also thinking about spain and what will happen when i get back...
three weeks of history will have happened while i have been away - everything may have changed... today i found out about 3 more people being engaged, two to each other and another one to someone else, which led me onto where i stand at the moment with the whole thing...
kinda worked out it makes little difference as id never actually be the one to speak out... so its unlikely to happen anytime soon, so im just going to try and forget about it for now. i really dont know why its come back up anyhow... [no smart answers there please] yes it did turn out that i ended up liking someone but we know where that went.... and since then i can think of three people whom if i [had] let myself i could probably drive[n]myself to distraction wondering about it... but i dont want to be disappointed [again] so there you go. sounds a bit trivial... but its me at the moment, so until someone declares their interest... im hiding that part of me.
but yeah- that got me to thinking - everyone who isnt attatched yet, may be when i get back, and that would change a lot for me, or [hopefully not] people who were attached may no longer be, and the thing i always worry about when i go away at all [and is actually usually justified - chris nearly killing himself on a 5p being a prime example and that was only a weekend in rugby when i was easily contactable] is that someone is going to fall apart, or be injured or something where im needed and i can't be there.i know im playing ifs and buts here but ....
in some ways this week is fantastic- im so busy that i dont have any time to get stressed, or even think about anything - this consequently means that as soon as i get on the coach to go to spain it will all catch up wiht me and ill probably end up making an ass of myself on the coach as i begin to process things. hopefully ill get the front seat so i can a) see and b) not disturn anyone when i start kicking the thing in front of me or banging my head against the window.
then its almost three weeks with nothing to do. not sure how ill cope as i like having the opportunity to do things... and consequently the opportunity to turn them down... but it will be okay. i cant promise an especially mellowed sara when i return but i can see me having had some time out, got some stuff sorted and hopefully this will be a great chance to get some practice at listening to what God has to say - something ive found hard recently for myself, and hopefully get back into the discipline of spending regular time with Him each day, which to be perfectly honest i havent done really since i rebelled. that isnt to say i havent done it full stop. to the contrary ive done it lots, i just havent been disciplined... though to show willing, im only taking one book [other than a phrase book which ive been told i HAVE to have] and im sure you can guess what that is....
i may take another book for the coach, but it will be a useful book...
this way ill have to do bible study. Its something i realised as i was writing my essay - because as part of my degree i study the bible i tend to forget to study it for myself. this is one reason im looking forwards to next year and my dissertation - i actively want to study what im hoping to do.
other than that, im taking pens and paper, and my sketch book, and my camera... and the essentials. thats it.
so my plans while im out there?
swim :) 2k a day if possible! [ pray that the pool is open by the time i arrive!]
spend time on my own with the Lord...
letter write - i owe several letters. i normally end uip writing at a keyboard nowadays as my epistles tend to be long and rambly [in case you cou'nt tell' and writing by hand tends to hurt very quickly, but i will have that option if necessary. plus i would like to keep in touch wiht my friends while im gone. three weeks is a long time.
plan the move. this one wont take very long to do...
Jack Chris and T.K have offered to help move things from theirs, which is where half my stuff is, so thats sorted, and i just need to organise getting stuff from my parents to there so will poke mick before i go and while im gone, AND when i get back. moving date is a thursday though so it shouldnt be too bad, and theres only one car load (plus guitars, so two really but guitars can wait)
anyhow, tis midnight, so im gonna dive in le shower and cool off before cracking back on with this. and find some water!
not specially in depth really... but i meant what i said about not posting on 'what light...' for a while.
sara
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