thoughts while ive been out here
looks like there will be a long ramble from me after all...
i should hvae brought my pen and paper blog (no net access or phone or radio or (english)tv or anythign where i am at teh moment which is good in someways but in others not so good....
had lots of time to do some serious thinking while ive been out here.
firstly there was the journey. 42 hours with vewry little sleep, partly out of not being able to sleep on coaches and partly out of not wanting to miss my stops.
out here im on an ubanisation, which means there are no facilities- the nearest shop is around 8 km away, and so if i want to go anywhere my grndad has to drive me. i dont want to put him out at all so im trying not to go places too much, so ive stayed around. as said above there is very little of the distractions i would normally have to keep myself occupied, and between 12.30 and five in the afternoon im indoors as the temperatures have been very high this week - yesterday we went to orihuela in the early afternoon and it was 44 degrees celcius in the shade... so as you can see a lot of time to myself.
these are quite bizarre in a way but its just how ive been going...
being away has helped me to evaluate some stuff as ive been removed from the situations - thus helping me to be more objective about it. i think that at the moment stuff is generally good. things have been hard and i think in someways its still a struggle in some ways... but i think now im reaching the point where im not "glad" that things happened the way they did but that the things that happened were for the best.
having taken a while to have come to that conclusion, once again im drawn to thinking about other people. the people that have walked with me to this place (not spain!) and helped me along the way. i have a net- for the first time ever,and that is a helpful thing to know. and it is something that i know wich is also good.
i want to be 24.
a quite odd statement i know. but its true. several reasons for this.
the first is that this week, being the ´baby´has really gotten to me. not in an infuriating sense... but being with people who are considerably older than me has been interesting.
anyhow, most of my friends are older and i guess i just want to close the gap a little.
i dunno how to explain it really.
(hmm just had to stop for like 20 minutes. grandparents came back and started watching what i was doing and i cant cope with that.. completely lost my thread.. oh yeah)
there are some other reasons but.... yeah well...
[EDITED: 29th June 2004]
annoyingly i have to end there as my time is almost out, but theres good stuff going on too i promise.. and ill post again if not before i get back, then when i get back.
sara
i should hvae brought my pen and paper blog (no net access or phone or radio or (english)tv or anythign where i am at teh moment which is good in someways but in others not so good....
had lots of time to do some serious thinking while ive been out here.
firstly there was the journey. 42 hours with vewry little sleep, partly out of not being able to sleep on coaches and partly out of not wanting to miss my stops.
out here im on an ubanisation, which means there are no facilities- the nearest shop is around 8 km away, and so if i want to go anywhere my grndad has to drive me. i dont want to put him out at all so im trying not to go places too much, so ive stayed around. as said above there is very little of the distractions i would normally have to keep myself occupied, and between 12.30 and five in the afternoon im indoors as the temperatures have been very high this week - yesterday we went to orihuela in the early afternoon and it was 44 degrees celcius in the shade... so as you can see a lot of time to myself.
these are quite bizarre in a way but its just how ive been going...
being away has helped me to evaluate some stuff as ive been removed from the situations - thus helping me to be more objective about it. i think that at the moment stuff is generally good. things have been hard and i think in someways its still a struggle in some ways... but i think now im reaching the point where im not "glad" that things happened the way they did but that the things that happened were for the best.
having taken a while to have come to that conclusion, once again im drawn to thinking about other people. the people that have walked with me to this place (not spain!) and helped me along the way. i have a net- for the first time ever,and that is a helpful thing to know. and it is something that i know wich is also good.
i want to be 24.
a quite odd statement i know. but its true. several reasons for this.
the first is that this week, being the ´baby´has really gotten to me. not in an infuriating sense... but being with people who are considerably older than me has been interesting.
anyhow, most of my friends are older and i guess i just want to close the gap a little.
i dunno how to explain it really.
(hmm just had to stop for like 20 minutes. grandparents came back and started watching what i was doing and i cant cope with that.. completely lost my thread.. oh yeah)
there are some other reasons but.... yeah well...
[EDITED: 29th June 2004]
annoyingly i have to end there as my time is almost out, but theres good stuff going on too i promise.. and ill post again if not before i get back, then when i get back.
sara
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